§ Never have a dull opening- This is guaranteed to lose your audience immediately. The opening sets the tone for everything to follow. And remember to keep it tasteful.
§ Don't be Vulgar- Don't use Vulgarity or bathroom humour. It is guaranteed to turn off everyone except juveniles, who will snicker appreciatively. No bride and groom deserve to have their day punctured by crass material. If you read over your toast and find it sounds like Uncle David would say then give it another shot.
§ Be sure not to ramble - Telling stories that have no point will make you lose your audience in a hurry. Anecdotes can serve as powerful accents to toast, but only if they mean something to everybody present and are apparent and if the meaning isn't obvious should be explained in such a way that the audience can appreciate it.
§ Embarrass The Couple - Cross the line from roasting to ridiculing and make everyone squirm. Teasing the bride or groom with personal quirks or idiosyncrasies can add humour and even affection to your toast - but be careful that the teasing doesn't inadvertently tip over into nastiness.
Adopting the same tone in your speech as you might normally use with your friends could come off as callous to those who don't know the nature of your relationship.
§ Ridicules The Bride - Make fun of the bride and earn the hatred of everyone in the room. All grooms should especially heed this rule. This is the day you are proclaiming to the world your everlasting love for your bride, and teasing that seems harmless to you - can be risky. So before you include that joke about how clinically insane she seemed during the wedding planning or how you're amazed by her ability to spend hours on the phone talking with her friends about nothing at all, button up. Your job is to make her feel like a princess.
§ Flatter The Wrong Folks - The rule might be called, "Forgetting Whom the Wedding Day is about". To illustrate the point a friend's bride's three attendants all happened to be incredibly attractive women. My friend elected to open his speech - his first public address to his new bride - by pointing out that, no matter what course the marriage might take, they could at least always say they had the best damn good-looking bridesmaids ever. Remember it's the Bride's Day?
§ Rely On Tired Clichés – Words or phrases. Cliché words or phrases (Your beautiful inside and out) and blanket statements (You will never know what you mean to me) are empty devices. Really talk about what defines your special someone. Making sure to get the essence of the person about whom you're speaking. Remember it might take some time to find the right way to say those perfect words.
